


Part of the Plan

by Viridian5



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Angst, Episode Related, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-11-30
Updated: 1999-11-30
Packaged: 2017-10-02 07:46:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viridian5/pseuds/Viridian5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Doyle wonders how much of it all has been planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Part of the Plan

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for "I Will Remember You" just for its hints on how the Powers That Be are working this, but this story takes place before "Bachelor Party."
> 
> Thanks to Small Woodinat Creature for sympathy and a read. Thanks to 'nat again and to R for discussions about how narrow Angel's curse might actually be in a more perfect world. When Doyle goes off on that topic, it's inspired by those conversations.

"Who else owned the property?" Angel asked as he stood behind Doyle like a warm shadow //only room temperature, really//, leaning forward to look at the monitor. So close... It made the muscles of Doyle's back and shoulders twitch. //Useless. Forget about it.//

As Doyle scrolled down the screen, a soft noise, the whisper of worn, ancient pages moving against one another, distracted him. He turned to see Cordelia finish turning the tome's page and push some of her dark hair behind her ear. //Beautiful.//

A low sound, almost a growl, from above sent a shiver through him and forced his attention away from Cordelia. Angel's hand rested above Doyle's shoulder, making his skin tingle in anticipation, then moved away, leaving him untouched.

//Just. Can't. _Take it_. Anymore!// Doyle stood so suddenly he almost knocked Angel over. "This isn't working. I need to get out for a bit. Be back later." Doyle grabbed his coat and fled the room. He heard Cordelia ask, "What's his problem?" and Angel say, "Take a break. I'll track him down."

Go outside or downstairs? It depended on whether Doyle wanted Angel to catch up with him or not. //Wonderful. I'm a now a 12-year-old girl.// He sighed and took the elevator down to the basement. //I could go home and jerk off, but nooooo....//

When Angel caught up with him, he'd already taken his first swig of one of the beers Angel now kept in the refrigerator. "I'm sorry," Angel said. "I forgot myself."

"I wanted you to. You used to be able to touch me."

"That was when I knew a casual touch would stay casual."

"What? I'm irresistible now or something?"

"Yeah."

Doyle put the cold bottle to the side of his forehead. "The Powers That Be must be having a grand old time watching us."

"I don't get it."

"They had to know I'd get involved like this. They know everything. Maybe it's penance, torture to help me atone."

"Penance." Angel looked disgusted but sad. "I can see that. It's torture for me too."

That confession of mutual... interest felt like the most wonderful thing Doyle had ever heard and a knife to the gut at the same time. "It is?"

"You don't know how much I want to touch you right now..." Angel shook his head. "But maybe you do know."

"I don't want to make things worse for you, man."

"I know."

"I'd leave, but They'd never let me. I was assigned to you."

"I don't want you to leave, but what could They do to you?"

"They're kind of all powerful. I really don't want to imagine what They'd do to me if They were really pissed off." Doyle started to pace a little. "Maybe these feelings are a test. See if I can keep my hands to myself, avoid screwing you up. But I don't get it. I mean, it seems like I'm being one big neon distraction to you right now. I don't think that's what They want us together for."

Or maybe They did. It wasn't like they'd given him an instruction manual on how or examples of the way Messengers and Warriors were supposed to relate to one another.

Their Warriors seemed to suffer a great deal from the examples Doyle had seen. Maybe They wanted it that way. //Is that supposed to be part of my job? Making him suffer more?// It made his skin crawl to think about it.

//Shite!// Doyle wanted to talk to Them immediately, danger be damned, to get some answers. If They meant him to be another part of Angel's torture, he refused to play. It would hurt to leave and never see Angel again, but he would do that if he had to. They could strike him blind or dead with visions, torture him Themselves, he didn't care. He couldn't be part of some sick, twisted plot to hurt someone he loved.

//Yeah. Love. Idiot.//

"Doyle?"

But if he asked Them, what were the odds that They'd answer honestly if They didn't want him to know? Zilch. What would he do, go up and ask Them, "Uh, hi, am I part of some secret plan to make Angel's life utterly miserable?" "Why, yes you are, Doyle." "Okay. Thanks for your honesty. By the way, I'm turning in my resignation." Not bloody likely.

"Doyle?"

But maybe that wasn't what They were doing. Maybe They didn't see any harm... There had to be some way to find out.

"Doyle!"

"What?" Doyle realized that Angel was standing in front of him, gentle hands on his shoulders as support. //Needed this.// It felt good, but it also left him backed up against the counter with Angel leaning on him, which affected him in other ways that would have also been good if Angel didn't have a curse to contend with. He took a deep breath.

"You looked like you were about to go into one of your visions," Angel said.

"No, just thinking. Bad thoughts."

"Anything you could share with me?"

"Nah, just scaring myself. I'll tell you if I get anything solid."

"You promise?"

"Yeah. Uhm, Angel, this is a casual touch, your hands on my shoulders here, and it's nice." //Really nice.//

Sometimes it seemed that Angel wasn't so much looking at Doyle as trying to burn holes in him with his eyes. This was one of those times. "This is anything but casual."

"Oh."

Then they were kissing again, and it was amazing the difference 200-plus years always made in technique. //Ah, those experienced older men... God, I want to just devour him. Makes me wonder how he stops himself from doing that to me, especially since it's sort of an instinctive thing in his case.// It worried Doyle that the faint taste of blood in Angel's mouth didn't bother him anymore, though he supposed kink had to be part of the package for a guy who sometimes popped out with porcupine spikes.

It could also be tough kissing someone who didn't need to breathe. Sure, Angel took in breath to talk and seem normal, but he didn't need it, didn't do the oxygen to carbon dioxide process. Air went out unchanged from when it went in. It did mean that Doyle had to break off the kisses before he got too dizzy, because Angel often didn't notice when it reached that danger point, especially if the vampire was lost in passion.

//Lost... I don't want to make him miserable, but I have to be careful about making him happy too. Then again, he only lost his soul the last time after sex, and it's hard to believe that was his only recent moment of true happiness. Maybe the curse is narrower than he was led to believe. Maybe it only applies to sex with blonde teenage girls...

//Do I really want to take the chance?//

But Doyle never felt so safe and loved as he did with Angel touching him. He felt owned in a good way, a way that let him know he'd be missed if something happened to him. It had been a long time since he'd felt like that. Since he felt like he'd die if he couldn't be with a certain someone.

Addicted.

//Yes.//

Doyle knew his judgment couldn't be trusted here. Unfortunately, it seemed like Angel's couldn't be either. //We're being stupid, but we both need so much...//

For now Angel's judgment remained good. He broke off the kiss and just held Doyle, even though he obviously wanted more too. Doyle buried his face in Angel's sweater and sighed in frustration and relief.

"We'll find a way," Angel said shakily.

Doyle hoped for a lot of things, but at that moment he hoped things weren't going along just as They'd planned.

  

### End


End file.
